About Writing a Blog . . . For the Students in Mr. Nielsen's Class . . .

A blog is an online way for a person to share their thoughts on anything that they want to talk about.  

A person who blogs is called . . . a blogger!

When you are finished with your assignment for Mr. Nielsen, you will be a blogger, too!

I started blogging 6 years ago.  I wanted to share my thoughts and opinions on books I read, movies I saw and experiences I had. 

After awhile, people started following me.  I post links to my blog on Facebook and it is fun to read people's reactions to the things I write about.  

I really like to blog because writing is different from speaking. When I blog, I take the time to read and re-read my words.  I have the ability to change anything I'd like.  When I am speaking and make a mistake or want to change something, it's more difficult because because someone else has already heard my words. Blogging gives me more space to say what I really want to say.

You have been assigned the 20% Project.  Mr. Nielsen wants you to pick a topic you are interested in researching and writing about. 

When you are finished, you will post your information online on your very own blog!

Do you want to pick "how to do something" 

or

 "learn about something new"?  

The choice is yours!

Today I am going to show you an example of a blog that shows the reader how to do something. 

I am going to show you how to start your very own blog!

Ready??  Go!

Once you log onto a computer, go to www.blogger.com.  

It will ask you to sign into Google.  You will use your student account which is your id # followed by @fallbrookhs.org.  

Next it will ask you to pick a profile.  Pick: Blogger Profile.

Next, pick your display name.   Pick something with your name in it.  

When you get the option, pick and click the "New Blog" button and then pick a Title for your blog.  Mine is "Judy's Ramblings".  

You are also given the choice for a template.  A template is a website that is already formatted with a certain layout.  I suggest you start with the one titled "Simple".  It will also ask you to create a web address so that your blog can be found online.  Just start typing in the address bar under the title and it will give suggestions.  

Pick one that you like. 

Remember it.  

Write it down.  

Click on "Create blog!"  

Next it might suggest that you find a domain name for your blog.  

Click "no thanks".  

Now you're ready to create a "New Post"!  

This is like chapter one of your own Blog.

Click on "New Post" and start typing!!!  

You can title this post whatever you'd like to.  

The name of this posting by me is called is "About Writing a Blog . . . For the Students in Mr. Nielsen's Class".

As you do research on your topic, you can add pictures to make your blog more interesting.  To do this, you save the picture to your computer and then upload it.  We will show you how to do this! 

Here is a picture I uploaded:

This is my dad.  He took a trip last month to a museum of a musician he likes.  He sent me this picture.  I saved it to my computer and uploaded it and now anyone who reads my blog can see it.

You can also add website links so that your readers can click and find out more online about your topic.

Here is what it looks like to have a link on your blog page:

http://www.fallbrookhs.org/

(I picked the Fallbrook High School website as an example.)

The cool thing about blogging is that you can work on stuff and wait to publish it online when you're ready.  You can change and edit your post until it shows exactly what you want it to show.   The blog will automatically save, but you also have the option to click on the "save" button for quicker saving of your work.  

You can also click "Preview", which shows you what it will look like if you posted it exactly how it is right now.  

It won't show up online to anyone else until you click "Publish".  If you publish and want to change something, you can go back in and make the changes and they'll show up online after you update it.  

It's real important that you keep track of the research you do for this project.  Write about it in your blog so that your teacher and classmates can learn about your process.  

Some students have created blogs and have added to them over the years!  The sky is the limit!  

70 x 7

It is said that we don't really know what we're missing until we've gotten a glimpse of it.

For me, it's been peace.  I had no idea how "on edge" I've been for most of my life.

Worry has been a constant since childhood and I didn't even know it.

Now that mindfulness, the practice of being more aware of one's thoughts and feelings moment by moment, has become a more conscious experience for me, I am noticing when the peace has landed, like a lovely guest, on my doorstep.  It's been coming around more and more these days.

A little over a month ago I was in a frantic and emotional phone conversation with one of my favorite spiritual leaders.  He interrupted my flow of complaint with a prayer suggestion.  My feelings felt hurt as I didn't feel my angst and terror was being acknowledged satisfactorily, but I became quiet and asked him to repeat himself so I could write it down.

I am familiar with the "Fear to Faith" prayer work that is promoted quite often in the classes I've taken through my local Center for Spiritual Living.  The idea is that when there is something heavy on our hearts or minds, we can follow the pathway of our beliefs until we find something incongruent with our vision of God.  We then release the belief, through repetitive chanting/prayer, along with whichever action we may have been exhibiting in support of that negative belief.  The work/prayer/chang is three-part, ending with  gratitude for a trait that better represents a supportive one.

Here is an example from my own life:

"I release the belief that I am powerless.  I release the need to be rescued.  I am grateful that God is the strength that I am."

(This is essentially the prayer that was suggested to me back when I was miserable and shaking and didn't really want to do my own work.  I eventually substituted the word "strength" instead of repeating the word "power" as was the original suggestion.

So, the 70 x 7 part comes in when one repeats the prayer 70 times for 7 days.  The idea is that with focus and repetition we are able to dislodge old thinking patterns and open up to new and more supportive thoughts and behaviors.

I gotta admit, when this concept was first "assigned" to me during a class quite a few years ago, I had a lot of resistance.  I tried using prayer beads to keep track of how many times I'd said the prayer and sometimes did it walking just to make it more interesting and get rid of some excess nervous energy. Other times I'd sit in my old blue chair in the dining room and say it silently or quietly to myself.

So backtrack to that day when I just wanted someone to fix my life for me and make the yucky go away and instead I was alone in my room, feeling terribly sorry for myself, and now I had committed to seven days of repetitive prayer.

To help keep track of the amount of times I said the prayer, I gathered 70 items and put them in a large storage lid.  Most of them were rocks and stones, with a few other natural items (a small twig, an acorn), plus a few man-made items such as some small, red plastic hearts and a cool wooden boar statue on a short string with a bell, a long-ago gift from my father who lives in Japan.

I wrote the prayer on a 3x5 card and put it in the middle of the lid, picked up the first rock, and got started.  I was very distracted and distressed.  It took me over 30 minutes to get through the prayer.  I did feel a little calmer at the end of it, though, although my feelings were still hurt for a variety of reasons, and I had some resentment and anger towards various people (and yeah, towards myself as well).

Adding body movement is a good way to incorporate change into our consciousness, so moving the left hand out and open while saying the first part, moving the right hand out and open when saying the second part, and bringing one's hands up and to oneself during the third part is suggested.  I did this with the rocks and stuff, one at a time.  Sometimes I had my eyes closed, other times I had them open.  Over time I became more aware of the texture of each item.  I found I really enjoyed the feel of some over others.



I kept on with it for almost two weeks.  Over time I swapped out some of the rocks for other beautiful stones that I have, of various sizes, colors, textures and shapes.

I also symbolically released a few stones that were representing a relationship from my past that still had some unresolved issues between me and an old friend.  (She had given me, a few years ago, a metal candle holder upon which she had glue-gunned various black stones.  She had made quite a few of these as teacher gifts for her children and I was very pleased when she gave me one.  Over the years, the stones had come off the metal plate but I had kept them.  Since they often had glue on one side, it was easy to keep track.)  (She and I had a falling out almost two years ago and now, although we never formally resolved anything, I have a  peace that comes from time and space from the situation.)  I took most of these glue-marked stones and threw them, with awareness, over the side of various parts of the property where I live.  No need to be constantly reminded of unhappiness.  (I still have a couple of those rocks left.  Healing is still being done between us.)

At the end of two weeks of the prayer, I was feeling a little more "in control" of my own destiny and the drama of my personal life had calmed a little.  I decided to keep up the 70 x 7 prayer but change it up a little.  (By this time, the prayer was taking me only about 12 minutes a day and I felt GOOD after doing the work.)

Next prayer:  "I release the belief that I am flawed. I release the need to be punished.  I am grateful that God is the Healing that I am."  This prayer felt powerful to me and cut right to the chase of some of my old issues.  I had been holding on to a deep-seated belief that I deserved punishment and should expect it. It was and has been interesting to look into this on a more regular basis.

One of the cool things about repetition is that the message or action starts coming "unbidden" to one's consciousness throughout the day, seeping into the edges and gracefully taking the place of old messages. Associating one of these prayers when my mind fills with worry or anxiety is a way to derail the panic and nervousness that life can sometimes bring, substituting it instead with a sense of "alrightness".

I haven't used the prayer rocks in over a week but they are still in the lid, on the floor of my beautiful and peaceful room, reminding me that at any time, I can do some more work on myself.

Acknowledge, release, acknowledge, release, acknowledge, keep.

Thanks for listening.

NY EVE 2015

Hey there.

I've been writing in my head for a few days now.
Let's see how it comes out on the screen.

I started this post in the evening on 12/31/2015 when, for the first time in my entire life,
I found myself voluntarily celebrating the incoming new year solo.

Later, with only 46 minutes to go until midnight,   .
I continued learning how to be alone with myself.  

Having been in relationships for over half of of my life, this is a whole new experience.

It's almost amusing how my brain and emotions ping-pong all over the place.
Sometimes it's a little frightening.
Without the distraction of others, I have only myself to listen and respond to.

About 18 months ago, my therapist suggested I live with aloneness for awhile.
Feel the fear
Hear the loud, internal voices.
Accept feeling grumpy or pissy with no one to blame.
Make mistakes, listen to me chastise myself, have mercy and move on.
Let joy come and stay for longer each time.
Just be myself and take care of business.

Today I claimed an "AT HOME" day because even though I had over two weeks off, I managed to drive somewhere every single day.

Not today.

My adventure in solitude started last night about 8 pm, when I found myself on my own with no social commitments, no phone calls to return; my own time on my hands.

I ate and puttered and lived in my head a bunch.  Loudly.

I made a drink of Honey Jack and fresh lime juice (yum) and watched the first two episodes of Game of Thrones Season 2 after I found the DVD in my laptop. Oops.

(I had returned the case to the Library a few days ago, so) I figured I might as well binge watch the two episodes on the disk and turn it in soon. Thrones isn't the best series I've watched, but it's stimulating and entertaining, if not uncomfortable at times.  It contains some beautiful people and since I only read book one, I'm not tied to how they do the show from this point on.

I met up with a friend at a local site and sang a Karoke song from my heart to strangers watching sports on tv.  I safely and responsibly drove myself home.

As a teen I often babysat on New Year's Eve.  These experiences were my first introduction to people celebrating this evening as something special.  My family didn't treat it as anything different. (The Rose Parade was what really counted in my childhood household., which reminds me that after I post this I need to checkout the link to see the FHS Marching Band as they perform in London tomorrow!)

My evening took an unexpected turn when CJ the dog hurled her dinner onto the wool carpet in the living room, right after eating.

She's a big dog and it was a big mess.

When she had the audacity to get territorial over the large mound of yuck and showed signs of
re-intaking the whole thing, I sent her outside while I grabbed cleaning supplies.

I got a little side-tracked as I looked for baking soda.  
I knew if I kept looking a box just might appear.
After revamping two cabinets, and writing "BUY BAKING SODA"  on the postie/grocery list, I found 1/4 box behind the spices in cabinet number 3.
Hallelujah.
I poured some over the damp carpet, and let will vacuum it up tomorrow.
Finger's crossed the carpet will look alright when it's all cleaned up.

In other news, I have been playing a little game in my head.  Whenever I get grumpy and want "someone else" to deal with what I don't want to, I ask myself what a fantasy counterpart would do in that particular situation for me to "make it all better".

This line of thinking has had some positive results, I must admit.
When in doubt of what to do next, I ask my inner girl what she would like done for her, then I often go ahead and do it for myself.

The big-ass tv that was just gifted to me and was sliding around the back seat of my car needed to come into the garage so I used an old dog bed and some calm maneuvering and got it in, setting it in a good and safe space.  I plan on sweet-talking some boys into bringing it upstairs and setting it up for me soon.

Next I cleaned out my car.  I had been feeling some  anxiety over its state of dirty-yucky..

I gained extra points with myself when I got the blockage out of the shop vac hose with a broken windshield wiper.

I persistently and calmly worked through the blockage, and solved the problem,

I walked away from the car cleaning project from time to time, but ended up touching every single item in the car before deciding what to return inside. I find I am better able to process and let go with gratitude since hearing the theories on decluttering from The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.

The car feels complete and I am grateful.

I experienced pleasure from this experience and allowed myself to feel appreciative and reward myself with no guilt or unease.

I even took a baby nap.

Today also marks the 25th anniversary of what would have been Erik and my's marriage, were we still together.  He is out with his girl tonight and I am blogging and puttering, sipping alternatively on water, coffee and may make myself another honey jack and lime.  I ate and watched Hitchcock's "To Catch a Thief" and folded/put away laundry.  I watched all of its special features.

I am also living inside my head, and then focusing my thoughts outside of it.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.

It's been on my mind to post a little shout-out to my ex.

Eggy.  Thank you for the past 27 years together, 25 as a wedded couple.  I know that this evening is not what we would have said that we wanted if asked a few years ago, but I am feeling peaceful and grateful and hope that you are too.

I will never regret the years of gatherings and friends, meals and adventures, and here's to many more in both of our lives.

Thank you for introducing me to a whole lot of music that I probably wouldn't have heard otherwise.

Thank you for being a caring and compassionate person.
Thank you for being a lovingly kickass dad to our boy.
I appreciate you.
I wish you all the best.


It's good to be back in the writing saddle.
I hope to stay here awhile this time.

Thanks for listening and Happy New Year!

So, I just finished reading Scary Close by Donald Miller. The subtitle is "Dropping the act and finding true intimacy." It's taken me a few months and a lot of library renewals to finish the book, because I tend to be lazy about my non-fiction.  My roommate and I agree that we use our fiction as a form of escapism.  Reading non-fiction, especially books on bettering one-self, is like going to therapy.  Sometimes when we're in therapy and we don't like what is being uncovered, discussed, and felt, we quit.  It's even easier to close a book and walk away.  I knew the time had come for me to buckle down and finish the darn thing when I went to renew the last time and was denied because someone else is waiting for it.  So, I did what an upstanding citizen might do and finished it, knowing that the person who is to read it next is probably going to find it as amazing as I did.  

From the beginning, my mind told me, "This is a book to own so that I can re-read it again and again."  It's still pretty expensive online (and by expensive, I mean "full price".  This frugal girl RARELY pays full price for a book, but I might break down and do so.)

I can't remember how I first heard of the book.  It was online or in Time magazine or something.  I started reading it at the beginning of summertime, so now that I think about it, it's really time that I turn it in.  Sorry, fellow Library patrons!  

"Somebody once told me that we will never feel loved until we drop the act, until we're willing to show our true selves to the people around us."  

Easier said than done, Mr. Miller.  Show my true self?  What if I don't like my true self?  How will anyone love what I don't like?  It seems impossible.

In college I studied Human Communication.  I learned about the roles we play in our family units.  There is often a rebel, a nurturer, the comic, the worrier, etc.  We often play these same roles in our personal relationships.  Living our life outside the boundaries of these roles can be so uncomfortable, even if we don't like playing them anymore.

I am in therapy and have been for years, off and on.  Finding my truth, my voice, and expressing myself outside of the boundary of my various roles is scary as hell.  "They're not always going to like what they hear" is what I was told recently by my mentor.  Sure enough, a few days later, I was told by my son that I had changed, and not for the better, in his opinion.  Inside I thought, "because I'm standing my ground and didn't used to?" but kept silent, which further set him off.  

I have been the peace-maker.  The appeaser.  The person who does her best to "say the right things" so that those around me feel better about themselves.  Now, there is nothing wrong with this, unless the things I am saying are not holding to my inner truths. I also can't deny feeling resentful on the inside sometimes, because by not speaking my truth, it's not acknowledged, by myself or others. Becoming someone else, someone who speaks the truth, is terrifyingly scary for me.  The thought of hurting another person is one I shy away from.  I want to meld the best of all worlds.  I want to still be a kind person who loves others and does what I can for them, and also be a strong person who knows her own thoughts and can express them, even if it sometimes causes waves.  I want to learn to ride the waves, rather than paddle away from them in fright.  Bottom line . . . I don't want to be rejected.  I want to be loved and wanted and to feel like I matter for who I am, not just who I project myself to be for others.

"Can we really trust people to love us just as we are?  Nobody steps on a stage and gets a standing ovation for being human.  You have to sing or dance or something.  I think that's the difference between being loved and making people clap, though.  Love can't be earned, it can only be given. And it can only be exchanged by people who are completely true with each other."  This is from the author's intro.  He ends it with this:  "Applause is a quick fix.  And love is an acquired taste."

I know that this posting doesn't tell you much about this amazing book.  Trust me.  It's a keeper.

Thanks for listening.

October 12, 2015's reading from:

Honesty Requires Courage

It takes a lot of courage to be honest in a relationship.

 

 On the one hand we need to be real and authentic 

with another person, 

and on the other hand we're afraid that it may lead to 

abandonment. 

It's important to understand and respect

 that conflict within yourself. 

 You can't expect yourself to go out and 

start telling the absolute truth to everyone every minute.

  That would be very frightening.  

You just try to work your way in that direction, 

understanding that it is very scary for part of you, 

and at the same time that if you don't express your truth 

you will sacrifice part of yourself in the relationship. 

 

Gradually, you will learn to start being more authentic.

What part of me is afraid to be truthful and why? 

 

Can I understand and respect that part

 while learning to be more open?

Today's reading spoke to my heart. 

Trust.

This is an important subject to me.

Having trust in myself. 

Having others trust me.  

It's time for some contemplation and honesty in my conversations, starting with myself. 

This conversation is too private to have online, I'm afraid, but I'm going to keep on keeping on.

As I was searching for an image of the Meditation book I was quoting from, I found more from her that spoke to me. Perhaps they'll be good for you to read as well:

Every time you don't follow your inner 

guidance, 

you feel a loss of energy, 

loss of power, 

a sense 

of spiritual deadness

When I'm trusting and being myself as fully 

as possible, 

everything in my life

 reflects this

 by falling into place easily,

 often miraculously.

Our bodies 

communicate to us

 clearly and specifically,

 if we are willing to listen to them.

I'm not in too much of a pontification mood today, but it's been awhile since I've blogged and I was past due.

Thanks for listening.  Thanks for holding space for me.  You hold space in my heart as well.