"Mrs. E, Is That A Fax Machine?"

So a few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted a typewriter. 

Working in a library, one of my tasks is to make call stickers to place on the spines of the books.  (You know, those funky letters/numbers that tell the librarians where the book belongs in the stacks?)  When I worked at the High School last year, we had an honest-to-God typewriter that dutifully made us stickers anytime we turned it on and pressed the keys.  I know.  Amazing. 

The school where I'm working now has been around since the '50's and it shows.  There have been numerous librarians and library tech's running the show, each with his/her own sense of how things should be organized.  One of them decided that instead of categorizing the fiction books by authors' last name, which is standard, they created numeric categories with the name of the genre.  (For example, a mystery book might be listed as 40 Fic MYS.) Uber-confusing to the already addled teen.  But I digress . . .

One of the most frustrating (and disgusting) habits one of the tech's had (a female, by the look of the handwriting) was to use masking tape to made the call label.  A RIPPED piece of tape with the info, slapped onto the spine of the book, edges uneven and frayed.  Well, I gotta tell you, over time, masking tape gets brittle and gross.  For one, it's hard to read the tag and secondly, it's very tacky!!!  (Get it?  TACKY!)  Oh boy.     SO.          I decided that now was the time to start replacing the stickers. 

The last tech blessed me with a template on my computer and a whole bunch of stickers.  Awesome.  The only problem was, what if I only wanted ONE sticker at a time?  Open the document.  Type in the correct information.  Put the sticker paper in the printer's paper drawer.  Facedown.  Press print.  Now I have 49 unused stickers.  For a while, I was marking (on the computer template) which stickers were being used, so I could go in and just print out others as I needed them, but keeping track of that ONE certain sticker page and figuring out which direction to put the paper in once some of the stickers were missing was making my head spin.  Logistics and math are not my strengths.  So.  All that babbling just to say that I wanted a typewriter so I could receive instant gratification and get my stickers when I wanted them.  Was that too much to ask for?!?

I started my quest by e-mailing everyone on campus, inquiring if anyone knew where a spare typewriter might be.  Boy, did that open a can of worms.  The jokes and smarty comments that came flying back at me were funny at first, but a bit frustrating as the day went on and I wasn't getting what I wanted.   "Ask the 100-year-old research guy.  He might still be in his office."  "Ask my grandma."  "What's a typewriter?"  Etc.  By the end of the day, however, I heard from a security officer who works multiple sites that there was an unused typewriter at the school right next door.  I headed over there right after work, identified myself and what I wanted, and was shown the typewriter.  It was a big and beautiful old thing.  Electric, thank goodness!  We plugged it in for a test run.  Nothing.  Dang!!!  I punched a few keys and was about ready to turn away, very saddened, when it came to life.  It was like the electricity had forgotten how to flow through the cord.  It was mine, all mine (although they wrote down my name and site for "inventory" purposes and I was told that it was on "long-term loan" (meaning that if I was ever finished with it, send it back to sit all alone on the counter.  Typewriter purgatory.)  Sometimes the bureaucracy of the school district really cracks me up. 

On the next work day, I took some minions (ahem, Library TA's (teacher assistant's) to my truck to help me haul in a bunch of loot.  The typewriter inspired awe.  They couldn't wait to try it out.  At first, I was selfish and stingy about letting students type away on it, but after ascertaining that I could get replacement ink cartridges online, I let them play. 

The students' reaction to the typewriter has been amazing.  They are obsessed.  They think it is the most awesome thing ever.  They want to write their life stories on it.  (Seriously, two students have asked me if they could.  I explained how computers save and correct our work and typewriters are pretty much one-shot deals, but the romantic idea of getting their thoughts down via a TYPEWRITER has blinded them to logic.)

One TA, upon using it for the first time, was dismayed to realize that "all his work was for nothing" as he hadn't pressed the "return" key enough times to get the paper to where the keys were.  He had been typing on the roller bar. 

I will end my extremely long rant with an excerpt from a letter written by one of my TA's to her friend.  All names have been changed to protect the innocent.

ANNIEWAS UP I WROTE THIS TPO YOU ON A TYPE WRITTER ANS ITS SO COOL.  ITS A THE LIBRRAYITS LIKE COOLSHE LET ME USE IT SO IM WRITING TO U ON IYT IT MY BAD I MADE A MISTAKE SORRY THERES O BAKESPACESO I CANT ERACE THE MISTAKES BUT THIS IS SO COL. SORRY ANOTYHER MISTAKE I DONT NO TO USE ATYPE WRITTER U SHOUD SWING BY ON YOUR ROPE TO COME SEE IT.

(for those of you who aren't used to middle school speak, here's a translation:  annie--what's up?  I wrote this to you on a typewriter and it's so cool!  It's at the library.  She let me use it so I'm writing to you on it.  My bad, I made a mistake.  Sorry.  There's no backspace so I can't erase the mistakes but this is so cool!  Sorry, another mistake.  I don't know how to use a typewriter but you should swing by on your rope to come see it.)

(Just to set your minds at ease, there is a backspace/delete key.  It types white over the letters, but you have to delete them in the same order you typed them.)

So now I know.  Got bored kids?  Pull out the antiquities and let them roll.  Anyone know where I can get some quills? Thanks for listening.