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Last Friday was A Day of Silence, sponsored by GLSEN. http://www.glsen.org/
According to the site, "Thousands of students across the country will participate in the Day of Silence, an annual international event that brings attention to the anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment that is common in schools." (LGBT=Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, for those of you not familiar with the term.)
Last year, the day before the event, a transgender student here at the high school brought in flyers and asked if we could post them in the Library. I said it was no problem and did a little research on the subject. After reading up on it, I decided to participate as well.
I started the challenging silent day with a note to myself, reminding me to not talk. It's interesting how we communicate when we aren't using our voices, especially when it comes to waking teenagers for school. I spent the day at school, with slips of paper explaining why I wasn't talking. I went out of my way to track down a teacher who had given me a strange look when I didn't respond appropriately to her greeting. I didn't want her to think I was stranger than she already did.
I blogged throughout the day but I don't think I ever posted it, for some reason. What I remember the most was the feeling of disconnection I felt with those around me. It started seeping into me a few hours into my workday and it just felt so damn lonely. Perhaps that's the point of this day, to give folks an insider's point of view in the lives of people who feel silenced, unable to be their true selves.
How many of us, however, live our lives feeling like we can't really share our true thoughts, feelings and parts of our personality for fear of rejection or judgement?
On Good Friday of this year, one of our students took their own life via hanging. Taylor (born Joshua), had been at this school since early Fall and I had watched her move from a solitary figure into one who was a part of a nice group of friends. I talked her into trying a few library books, even though she was a very reluctant reader. I felt she was very brave to be an openly transgender student on campus. I knew it couldn't be easy.
When I heard that she had killed herself, my heart broke for her, her family, her friends, and the amazing staff here on campus that had supported her. I became more distressed as I read posts on the local newspaper site and heard stories about the school being bashed by the local Gay/Lesbian/Transgender support groups. Because of confidentiality, the staff here has not been able to share any information. For those of you with any doubts, however, take my word when I say that the reasons Taylor decided to leave this life were not solely due to bullying here on campus. She was very protected here.
As I read the headlines around the world regarding another "suicide because of bullying", and compare them with experiences I've had with my own son at school, I am constantly reminded that the stories are always much bigger than the news reports and much less cut and dry than the paperwork would infer.
Despite my best intentions, I did not hold the Day of Silence this year, although I put up information in the Library and helped our ASB teacher gather information to support the students who held a silent lunch out in the main common area known as "The Bowl". I just didn't feel that I had the tenacity to stick with it and wasn't up to feeling that pervading loneliness that I remember from last year.
We all deserve to be supported in our quest for a fulfilling life. We are all here for a reason and if we don't know what that is, we can start by seeing how we can help another, and then getting in touch with something that stirs our inner passions.
RIP, Taylor Alesana. I'm blessed to have known you and am sorry to say goodbye.
Thanks for listening.
According to the site, "Thousands of students across the country will participate in the Day of Silence, an annual international event that brings attention to the anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment that is common in schools." (LGBT=Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, for those of you not familiar with the term.)
Last year, the day before the event, a transgender student here at the high school brought in flyers and asked if we could post them in the Library. I said it was no problem and did a little research on the subject. After reading up on it, I decided to participate as well.
I started the challenging silent day with a note to myself, reminding me to not talk. It's interesting how we communicate when we aren't using our voices, especially when it comes to waking teenagers for school. I spent the day at school, with slips of paper explaining why I wasn't talking. I went out of my way to track down a teacher who had given me a strange look when I didn't respond appropriately to her greeting. I didn't want her to think I was stranger than she already did.
I blogged throughout the day but I don't think I ever posted it, for some reason. What I remember the most was the feeling of disconnection I felt with those around me. It started seeping into me a few hours into my workday and it just felt so damn lonely. Perhaps that's the point of this day, to give folks an insider's point of view in the lives of people who feel silenced, unable to be their true selves.
How many of us, however, live our lives feeling like we can't really share our true thoughts, feelings and parts of our personality for fear of rejection or judgement?
On Good Friday of this year, one of our students took their own life via hanging. Taylor (born Joshua), had been at this school since early Fall and I had watched her move from a solitary figure into one who was a part of a nice group of friends. I talked her into trying a few library books, even though she was a very reluctant reader. I felt she was very brave to be an openly transgender student on campus. I knew it couldn't be easy.
When I heard that she had killed herself, my heart broke for her, her family, her friends, and the amazing staff here on campus that had supported her. I became more distressed as I read posts on the local newspaper site and heard stories about the school being bashed by the local Gay/Lesbian/Transgender support groups. Because of confidentiality, the staff here has not been able to share any information. For those of you with any doubts, however, take my word when I say that the reasons Taylor decided to leave this life were not solely due to bullying here on campus. She was very protected here.
As I read the headlines around the world regarding another "suicide because of bullying", and compare them with experiences I've had with my own son at school, I am constantly reminded that the stories are always much bigger than the news reports and much less cut and dry than the paperwork would infer.
Despite my best intentions, I did not hold the Day of Silence this year, although I put up information in the Library and helped our ASB teacher gather information to support the students who held a silent lunch out in the main common area known as "The Bowl". I just didn't feel that I had the tenacity to stick with it and wasn't up to feeling that pervading loneliness that I remember from last year.
We all deserve to be supported in our quest for a fulfilling life. We are all here for a reason and if we don't know what that is, we can start by seeing how we can help another, and then getting in touch with something that stirs our inner passions.
RIP, Taylor Alesana. I'm blessed to have known you and am sorry to say goodbye.
Thanks for listening.
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| There's quite a few pics of Taylor on the internet, but this is my favorite. |
Love this. xo
ReplyDeleteVery touching and insightful. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSuch sweet sorrow...
ReplyDelete