In the Arms of an Angel

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here


So I'm lying in bed tonite, the lights are off, I have read for awhile and am ready to sleep. Pandora Radio is playing on the computer. I am a big fan of Pandora Radio, where you can type in an artist you like and it creates a playlist of the artist and similar music. Tonite I had typed in "Bonnie Raitt". The outcome was surprising. Very little country or rock, lots of emo chick stuff. Just my style.

Anyway, I thought I'd just go to sleep with it running, as it stops by itself if you don't answer it's prompt of, "Are you still listening? We don't like to play to any empty room", when "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan came on. The acoustic version.

This song always brings forth a spirit of sorrow for me. Back in 2003 I was listening to Sarah's "Mirrorball" live album a lot. Danielle van Dam had just gone missing and San Diego was on serious alert to find this 7-year-old girl who had been taken from her bedroom during the night. Being a new mom myself, I felt the pain of this incident to the core. I inwardly dedicated this song to her. I listened to it time and again, sending love, strength and courage out to her.

When her little naked body was found in the desert, I was devastated. Her family was under fierce scrutiny and the public didn't like what it was hearing. Her mom and dad were involved in some activities that many frown upon. Fingers were pointed and hearts hardened against this family who were suffering so much.

I was working at "The Come On In! Cafe" in La Jolla as a baker. One day as I walked out of the kitchen towards the front door, I realized that Danielle's mom was sitting at a table by herself. I recognized her instantly and her guarded look told me that she knew I knew who she was. I gave her a little smile and kept walking. Once inside the restroom around the corner, my heart told me not to let this opportunity slip away.

Once back in the kitchen, I wrote her a letter, expressing my grief and sorrow for the horrific situation her family was going through. I felt outraged at the strangers who felt they could "justify" what had happened to the little one because her parents made decisions they felt they themselves would not do. I also told her about the song, how I had dedicated it to Danielle and would forever associate it with her.

I sealed the note and gave it to her, along with a cookie. The energy around the woman was high as I handed her the letter. She may have been assuming the worst of me.

Later, I brought some desserts up to the front of the store and she stopped me, thanked me, and gave me the remembrance pin that is shown at the top of this blog. She let me hug her.

As I lay under the covers tonite and sang the song, I was again awash in the pain of the tragedy that the van Dam family went through. I wondered about her 2 brothers, how they were faring. I wondered if the family has perhaps found some peace these few years later.

So here I am, sharing my heart with you, weeping and typing.

Danielle will always be remembered in my heart.