Then, When and Now

Recently I was turned onto Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.  (http://www.eckharttolle.com/home/)
 I am on a Spiritual Quest after being asleep for oh so long.  How amazing it is to realize that I have spent so much of my life in my brain, thinking about the past or the future, quite ignoring what is going on right now.  Right Now.  So I am in the process of retraining my brain, and let me tell you, it is so easy to forget and start dwelling on what I need to do next or later or what someone said or did in the recent past. 

I dwell.  I fully admit it.  If my feelings get hurt, I replay it over and over like a tongue on the gum where a tooth used to be.  I am almost 40 years old.  Isn't it about time I stopped worrying so much about what other people think about me and my decisions and my actions and my thoughts?  How liberated I might feel!  Oh, oh, here I go again . . . thinking about what "might be" in the future.  See what I mean?

So, back to Tolle.  I recently purchased The Power of Now and A New Earth.  I started the first one, haven't even cracked the second one yet.  (Another side note, if you like to get books cheap, try Abe Books online.  It is awesome!)  According to Tolle, our brain gets in the way of our Spirit.  Ego likes to step in at every opportunity and tell us what to think and feel about everything, drowning out the Divine and intuition. 

After looking into this author a bit more, I discovered that he had written a children's book, Milton's Secret, (  http://www.eckharttolle.com/home/books/)  which I borrowed from the public library and read to Jake.  Twice.  I figured introducing him to the concept of not lettin himself get carried away by the "what if's" and "if only's" as soon as possible could only be a good thing.  The book is very enjoyable.  The pictures are beautiful.  The little boy, Milton is gorgeous. 

Milton is young, perhaps in 1st or 2nd grade.  He is bullied by a big kid who makes fun of his name and pushes him on the playground, threatening to do so again real soon.  Milton is sad and scared.  He dwells on his fear and it grows.  He can't really sleep.  He is skittery at school, looking out for the big kid.  One night as he is tossing and turning, he doesn't hear his cat getting into a fight outside, as he is too worried about what might be in store for him the next day at school.  In the morning when he goes to feed his cat, he discovers him bloody and torn.  Milton and his mom bandage the cat up and Milton takes to the couch with the cat, who starts purring.  Milton is amazed that the cat can be happy after what he has just gone through.  Milton's grandfather explains that the cat is not dwelling on the past or the future, but is content in the Now (which is simply cuddling on the couch with his boy).  Grandpa goes on to explain about Life and how it is in everything, but is ignored so often by humans who are so much in their heads about things that aren't even happening at the moment.  Through a cool dream sequence, Milton starts to feel less fear and more joy with life.  He happens to be in the school bathroom when he spots the bully looking at himself in the mirror, obviously discontent and full of pain himself.  Milton gains insight into the boy's behavior and is able to feel even braver. 

What a crazy concept, to not worry about all the possibilities that may happen, or to replay the past like a bad movie scene stuck on skip.  It takes real concentration and awareness.  It takes bravery, as our ego and intellect feel the need to glom onto these thoughts as a way to create a barrier against more pain.  Unfortunately, we miss out on the joy of what is going on this second.  This amazing second that is here and gone with each breath.  When my son is telling me about something in his day and I am thinking about dinner, I miss out on that moment with my boy who is growing up so quickly.  That moment is gone.  To take a deep breath and let the impatience disappear and really enjoy the story and this amazing creature who is sharing his life with me is truly a gift. 

I am grateful to have been introduced to this way of sacred thinking and being.  I am learning to meditate and calm down more often.  The concept of a Higher Power is making me smile again.  I am pleased.  Thanks for listening.