Lent: DAY 2

I have an app on my phone called "Transform Your Life", based on the book by Cheryl Huber.  For about a year now it's been my intention to read the daily thought before I do much else in the morning.  I have it programmed for 5 am, so it's ready for me when I start my day.

It opens like a book, which I think is pretty cool, and gives my brain something to chew on before the waves of "other stuff" come crashing down.  Sometimes the words are just so appropo.

February 19

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.

C. G. Jung

Today, smile each time you see the color red. (Take a long, deep breath and feel the pain melt away.)

I went to bed a bit sad, woke up a bit sad, and this one hit home.  Good thing there are lots of red items around, from the bucket of scratch paper on my desk in front of me right now, to the heart I drew on my wrist for a quickie reminder when I need it most.  Heck.  My phone cover is red.  I breathe through the pain, let it melt away, feel it resume, breathe it away, rinse and repeat.  

Last night my roomie and I went to a New Moon/Cacao ceremony at a friends' house.  I have attended a few of these in the past and have some pretty amazing stories of intentions manifested from the events.  For those of you less "swirly" than I, during the new moon time of the month is a good time to start something new, to set intentions for what is wanted to occur.  (The full moon is a good time to release that which no longer serves.)  I tend to "let go" as well as put forth what it is that I am wanting during both times of the cycle, but maybe that's just me.  

After being smudged (clearing energy by smoke), we took off our shoes and went inside to a beautiful and clean living room, a fire burning merrily in the corner and a sacred alter space in the middle of the space.  We had been asked to bring something that represented us.  I brought a sweet rock that a teenager in my life had painted.  It's got a face on it, a woman's blissful smile.  I keep it at home usually, to remind me that focusing on a life that includes enjoyment and bliss is something to remember . . . often! I should have taken a pic of it to show you.  I'll try to remember to do so later.

Those who wanted to share about their items did so.  Our hostess ground cacao nibs brought back from her most recent trip to Costa Rica.  We mixed the paste with hot water to taste.  Some of us went out to the deck to watch the gorgeous sunset as we sipped the bitter brew.  I didn't mind the taste. Others did, wishing for a bit of sweetener to add. We returned to the circle around our sacred items.  We did a "square" breathing technique together (breath in for a count of 5, hold for 5, breathe out for 5, hold for 5), then held silence together for 30 minutes, with a little humming/singing/shaker playing.  For me, the best part was about 20 minutes into it when I realized that I was feeling no anxiety.  Apparently I carry around a low-to-high-grade feeling of worry all the time.  I felt what it is like to have that space inside, the silence that had taken the place of the chatter which doesn't yet know how to shut up.  It was a gorgeous and liberating feeling.  Within 45 minutes of the ceremony ending, I was aware of it creeping back in and it's now at a normal to high level.  I'm stuck mentally on a conversation that hasn't happened yet, with someone I really care about.  I hope/dread the conversation happens today so that I can move through to the next level.

What did I put forth for manifestation?  What did I let go of?  

I put forth for healthy relationships with the males in my life, monetary abundance and inner peace.  

I released fear, doubt, codependent behaviors and unhealthy boundaries.

Few things are instant in this life.  When I was driving to work this morning I was aware of my instant discomfort when I saw myself in the rear view mirror.  I'm not sure why it was adjusted differently, but instead of moving the mirror, I sat with the feelings.  I breathed through and was ok with the feelings.  I pulled into my parking spot, fixed my makeup and went to work.  I am ok.  One breath at a time.  

Thanks for listening.