Lent Day 9: Incubus and a Little Morning Cry

While playing my music on shuffle this morning as I got ready for work, Incubus's "Love Hurts" song came on.

Love hurts

but sometimes it's a good hurt

and I feel like I'm alive

Love sings

when it transcends the bad things

have a heart and try me

'cause without love I won't survive 

I've heard this song a million times, it seems, but it hit me differently today.  Did I really just let go of a relationship that was fulfilling in so many ways?  Someone who fed me delicious food and held me tight during the night?  Someone who held me while I cried and who gave me tingles in all the right places? Yup.  I did.  I grieved a bit for about an hour.

When I got to work I re-read yesterday's "Simple Abundance" calendar page.  It was good.
 Real good.  Better than today's, actually, so I kept this message up all day:

February 25

When you learn what you can live without, 

you are able to ask life for the very best because you possess the gift of discernment.

You are able to create an authentic life because you are able to make conscious choices.

I've learned a lot about myself over the years and quite a bit more these last crazy months.  I know what I like and what I don't like.  I like feeling adored and cherished.  I admit I'm kind of a Diva that way.  (Are there any women out there who don't?  I'm not asking that facetiously, I am genuinely curious.)  I like feeling honored and attended to.  And it's not a one-way street.  Eventually I'll be ready to give back to someone else.  But not right now.

Yesterday my snarky 14-year-old said, "Ha ha.  You're single."  I didn't take it personal and I didn't do much more than smile and say that I was ok with that.  I've got stuff to work on.  I'd rather be a further along the path to self-wholeness before embarking on another relationship.  The main reason I let the last ones go is because I was self-imploding.  I wasn't being honest with who I was in relation to myself so how could I have authentic connections with the significant others in my life?  I'm working on creating healthy boundaries and being responsible for my own emotions.  (More on that later.)  Yup.  I'm single and it's starting to feel like it's alright.

Thanks for listening.