Lent Day 18: Complimenting, Not Completing

A few days ago a friend who had read my blog sent me an email and some links regarding the human quest for partnerships; love relationships.

Here is the first link he sent:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgs0_--t0NY
(I haven't watched the second link yet as it is a bit longer and I haven't had the chance.)
The link I posted is a 10-minute talk with Mooji, a spiritual guru from Jamaica.  I've listened to it a few times in the past few hours.  A vasana is a term for a subconscious thought that is imprinted on our minds and affects our behaviors.  They refer to these quite a few times in the video.

The man in the video is asking Mooji what to do about the persistent thought that he needs a love partner in order to be complete, even as he believes that he is complete in and of himself.   He feels caught between his desire to be with someone and his inner truth that he doesn't need another to live a fulfilled life.  Mooji suggests that this is an age-old dilemma for humans.  "Look inside one's heart", is his answer.  "You have to get over this thing, out the need, the neediness, and feel the freedom of your own Self."  He says that when we get sick of the persistent thoughts and let them go, a true partnership just might come our way.  We're here to compliment each other's lives, not complete each other.

This is very interesting to me, especially in light of the very vivid dreams I've had of late, of love partners, some real, some imaginary.  I know that if I were to start another relationship without doing more inner work, I would find myself in the same holding pattern.  So I'll live with the discomfort, and keep working from the inside out.

Along the same lines as the message in the Mooji video is the Iyanla Vanzant book I started re-reading today.  I had a copy of In the Meantime in the car as I had discovered that I had multiple copies and decided to take one to work for the BookSwap collection.  I brought it in with me as I waited to get my oil changed and found that both Mooji and Iyanla were telling me the same thing.

All of the relationships we have or are experiencing are for a reason, whether they "work out" or not. They are mirrors of ourself and our quest to feel whole and complete.  The belief that we'll find this in someone else, however, is a trap and false.  Iyanla shares how when she was in the presence of the one she loved she felt okay, but when he was gone, she didn't feel okay and spent years trying to find someone else who made her feel the same way.  Once she realized that she "was just fine the way (she) was, things got a lot better."  And then he came back into her life, 15 years later.

"Love is the only thing we need.  Love is our peace.  Love is our joy, health and wealth.  Love is our identity.  We go into a relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love with us. We must bring a strong sense of self and purpose into a relationship.  We must bring a sense of value, of who we are.  We must bring an excitement about ourselves, our lives, and the vision we have for these two essential elements.   We must bring a respect for wealth and abundance.  Having achieved it to some satisfactory degree on our own, we must move into relationships willing to share what we have, rather than being afraid of someone taking it.  Joyful sharing and excitement.  Value, purpose and vision.  That's what love is about.  When we bring these things to the relationship, love becomes a great multiplier and enhances the experience of life.  When we do not have these things in place, the search to find love sets up the experiences we need to discover what is true about love and what is not.  The discovery process is called the meantime."(p.28)



So that's what I've got going on, folks.  I'm in the meantime.  I wonder what I'll dream about tonite.  I may or may not let you know.

:)

Thanks for listening.