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It's been a few days since I've posted. Lying in bed on Friday night, I felt shell-shocked from emotions. It's not easy being human, being a parent, being a person who is "overly" sensitive.
As transparent as I've strived to be with my blog, I do have my dignity and a sense of privacy. When there are situations that are personal and I can't write about them without bringing a bunch of other people into the words, I either avoid the issue altogether or wait a bit to see how it will all settle before attempting to share.
Things are settling, but the dust is still swirling and some of the pieces have not yet landed. One day at a time, right? Five days to go until we board a plane for Tokyo, me, the man I am separated from, and our son. We will spend 10 days with my dad and step-mom, visiting and traveling and living a dream we've had since Jake was born, which was to take him to visit the beautiful country of Japan. I pray that the week ahead will be nothing more than a flurry of work and packing and marking off my checklist.
Yesterday's Oprah/Deepak was about emotions. They advised that nothing is more intimate than our emotions. The current of our feelings have a major influence on every choice we make and that it is vital that we heal and train our emotions to be reliable and trusted allies in order to support our success. I am aware of my emotions, but I am not my emotions. How does one train emotions? Perhaps recognizing them as they come and go, but not becoming attached to them and letting them change as they need to? If anyone has suggestions, let me know. I have heard from quite a few people that their comments still aren't posting. If this happens to you, feel free to send the comments to my e-mail which is listed to the right on the blog site. Let me know if you'd like me to post for you. I am sorry for the complications, but I always am hungry for feedback.
Emotions as reliable and trusted allies? These are new thoughts for me. Emotions have run my life for a long time . . . 43 years or so. I don't want to become an unfeeling person. I have always felt that my empathic personality has been one of my strongest traits. The trick is to have healthy boundaries, however, and not let the weight of the world suck me into the abyss. Or, when I find myself at the bottom of the black hole, to have faith that there are steps up and out, where I can breathe the fresh air of gratitude again.
Below my emotions and moment-by-moment activities is a Silent Watcher. It is my Self. We all have It, I believe. It's the connection I have with all of life. This awareness is the foundation on which my spirituality is based. I forget about it for most of the day, and then I remember, and then I forget. I know I've said this before, but since I forget so often, it's good to remind myself with the printed word.
I do not know how everything is going to turn out . . . not with our son, with my separated relationship, with my other family members, with my friends, with the rest of my life, however long I am here in this body. But the Self remains constant. Being aware enables me to see past the possessions and the emotions and even the experiences, which so quickly turn into emotion-based memories. In the meantime, however, I know that I am here for a reason. Rev Guy says that we are here because Spirit was in need of a human experience to express Itself. Well, that's an honor now, isn't it?
In the past few days, I have stood up for myself and my son, prayed for Spirit to show me if my Ego's voice was too loud (and got an answer within the hour), hugged, cried, told people how I felt, and faced the human emotions of shame and "not good enough". Peace comes, peace goes. Intentions are set, sometimes there is follow-through, and sometimes procrastination wins out. Perhaps I should look at procrastination as a form of cowardice and practice being brave a little bit more.
For those of you who pray, I am asking for some prayer tonight. Peace and joy and a sense of security; faith that "it'll all be ok" and bravery in my endeavors. I'll send some love and light your way too. Ready? Go.
Feel better? I do.
Thanks for listening and participating with me along this journey.
As transparent as I've strived to be with my blog, I do have my dignity and a sense of privacy. When there are situations that are personal and I can't write about them without bringing a bunch of other people into the words, I either avoid the issue altogether or wait a bit to see how it will all settle before attempting to share.
Things are settling, but the dust is still swirling and some of the pieces have not yet landed. One day at a time, right? Five days to go until we board a plane for Tokyo, me, the man I am separated from, and our son. We will spend 10 days with my dad and step-mom, visiting and traveling and living a dream we've had since Jake was born, which was to take him to visit the beautiful country of Japan. I pray that the week ahead will be nothing more than a flurry of work and packing and marking off my checklist.
Yesterday's Oprah/Deepak was about emotions. They advised that nothing is more intimate than our emotions. The current of our feelings have a major influence on every choice we make and that it is vital that we heal and train our emotions to be reliable and trusted allies in order to support our success. I am aware of my emotions, but I am not my emotions. How does one train emotions? Perhaps recognizing them as they come and go, but not becoming attached to them and letting them change as they need to? If anyone has suggestions, let me know. I have heard from quite a few people that their comments still aren't posting. If this happens to you, feel free to send the comments to my e-mail which is listed to the right on the blog site. Let me know if you'd like me to post for you. I am sorry for the complications, but I always am hungry for feedback.
Emotions as reliable and trusted allies? These are new thoughts for me. Emotions have run my life for a long time . . . 43 years or so. I don't want to become an unfeeling person. I have always felt that my empathic personality has been one of my strongest traits. The trick is to have healthy boundaries, however, and not let the weight of the world suck me into the abyss. Or, when I find myself at the bottom of the black hole, to have faith that there are steps up and out, where I can breathe the fresh air of gratitude again.
Below my emotions and moment-by-moment activities is a Silent Watcher. It is my Self. We all have It, I believe. It's the connection I have with all of life. This awareness is the foundation on which my spirituality is based. I forget about it for most of the day, and then I remember, and then I forget. I know I've said this before, but since I forget so often, it's good to remind myself with the printed word.
I do not know how everything is going to turn out . . . not with our son, with my separated relationship, with my other family members, with my friends, with the rest of my life, however long I am here in this body. But the Self remains constant. Being aware enables me to see past the possessions and the emotions and even the experiences, which so quickly turn into emotion-based memories. In the meantime, however, I know that I am here for a reason. Rev Guy says that we are here because Spirit was in need of a human experience to express Itself. Well, that's an honor now, isn't it?
In the past few days, I have stood up for myself and my son, prayed for Spirit to show me if my Ego's voice was too loud (and got an answer within the hour), hugged, cried, told people how I felt, and faced the human emotions of shame and "not good enough". Peace comes, peace goes. Intentions are set, sometimes there is follow-through, and sometimes procrastination wins out. Perhaps I should look at procrastination as a form of cowardice and practice being brave a little bit more.
For those of you who pray, I am asking for some prayer tonight. Peace and joy and a sense of security; faith that "it'll all be ok" and bravery in my endeavors. I'll send some love and light your way too. Ready? Go.
Feel better? I do.
Thanks for listening and participating with me along this journey.
My very beloved Judy, I hurt for you. I know somewhat of your frustration and your trials right now but they will pass. Hang in there and know you have so many people who are there for you. Step back a little, take a breath and throw your head back and laugh. You will feel better. Enjoy your time with your family and you will be stronger when you get back. I will be waiting for you and hold your hand if you need it.
ReplyDeleteOne of your Girls (D)